The Way I Used to Be (2016) The Way I Am Now (2022)
Pace: medium · 🎭 Emotions: heavy, raw · 🚪 Entry threshold: high · ⭐ Why read: honest voice, painful realism
A seemingly ordinary school year can shift in an instant, leaving a fracture no one else can see: how does a girl rebuild herself when her world stops making sense? Smith opens the first book with a portrait of Eden before everything changes – a quiet student, a steady rhythm, a life that feels safe. Then comes the moment that alters her sense of trust, pushing her into silence she doesn’t yet know how to break. What paths does pain take when it has nowhere to go? This question shapes the emotional groundwork of the opening and casts a long shadow over the series.
As the narrative moves forward, Smith traces Eden’s attempts to navigate friendships, family expectations, and the weight of what she carries alone. Each chapter highlights the ways trauma distorts choices: anger where there used to be calm, distance where there used to be warmth. What does healing look like when you’re not sure you deserve it? The tension grows not through dramatic revelations, but through the quiet moments when Eden’s inner world collides with the version of herself she tries to present to others.
Across the two-book arc, themes of survival, identity, and renewal evolve into a broader reflection on courage. The first book lays the emotional foundation – the wound, the silence, the spiraling attempts to cope – while the sequel expands the story into a search for recovery, honesty, and the fragile hope that comes with naming the past. Smith keeps the focus on Eden’s inner voice, turning her journey into a careful study of how strength takes shape long before the answers do.
📚 Did you know 📖
Published in 2016, this novel marked the author’s debut.
It is based on in-depth research into trauma and teenage psychology.
The book was included in the ALA’s Amelia Bloomer List, which highlights works that promote feminist ideas.
«In 2023, the novel gained renewed attention following the release of its sequel The Way I Am Now.
Legend has it: the book unexpectedly went viral on TikTok (#BookTok), with readers sharing emotional reactions en masse.